By Kenneth Bonett
6/7/2024
2-3 minute read
Much of life is constructed from the ego and the stories we tell ourselves. Reflecting on my experiences in medical school, I see how drastically different internal narratives shaped my self-perception during various rotations.
During my surgery rotation, I imagined myself as a rugged, determined medical student with a chip on his shoulder. Each day, I woke at 4 a.m., with the beginning guitar riff of AC/DC’s “Back In Black” playing in my head as I rose to hit the gym or go for a run before heading to the hospital. I drew inspiration from the great Stoic Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, feeling as if I were on a quest for greatness with relentless determination.
In contrast, a recent away rotation far from familiar faces and surroundings felt like a journey of self-discovery. Isolated from society and distractions, I saw it as a pilgrimage toward knowledge and self-improvement, akin to a monastic pursuit. This narrative framed my experience as one of introspection and personal growth.
These two experiences illustrate how our self-perception can drastically change depending on our internal narrative, environment, and the people we interact with. The stories we tell ourselves shape who we believe we are, and this self-concept can vary widely in different contexts.
Realizing that the idea of the self is an illusion constructed by the brain is incredibly powerful. This awareness can free us from seeing ourselves as the center of the universe, allowing us to simply experience the moments that make life special.
Transcending the ego doesn’t diminish our ambitions or goals but liberates us from the internal chatter that distracts us from the present. Although these made-up framings and stories we tell ourselves can lead to great outcomes in society, many of these narratives are based on conventional sources of happiness. Moreover, by recognizing the illusory nature of the self, we can develop greater empathy for others, understanding that they too are shaped by their own narratives and struggles.
The idea of being happy when you achieve a certain goal or desired outcome is a product of this constructed self. However, this same sense of self that leads to elation upon success also sets the stage for disappointment when expectations are not met. Our brains, shaped by evolution, are wired to constantly seek the next source of gratification, perpetuating a cycle of fleeting satisfaction.
I believe these conventional sources of happiness that society is shaped around aren’t enough to provide lasting fulfillment in one’s life. By embracing the miracle of existence available to us in each moment, we can be directly in contact with the now. This shift in perspective offers a profound sense of freedom and presence, helping us to appreciate the beauty and opportunities that life continually presents. Instead of being outcome-oriented, it can be a shift to appreciating the process in each moment while still striving to achieve an individual goal in the next moment.
In conclusion, the journey of transcending the ego is not about denying our ambitions or desires but about finding a deeper, more sustainable source of contentment. It is a journey toward experiencing life as it is, rather than through the filter of our constructed self. This shift in perspective can lead to a profound sense of peace and fulfillment, allowing us to live more authentically and fully.
